IGCSE writing to describe

No moon, no stars, nothing but the dim, yellow glow from the street lights above my head and the sound of the gravel crumbling under my feet to take me home. Everything was still. A feeling grew inside of me, a feeling so strong that my head felt like it was imploding, but I couldn’t explain it. I felt a presence, an unexplainable presence, a presence nothing like the one of a human being or any living thing, but a spirit, a spirit that filled the air, making it thick and hard to breathe. Everything was still, so still you could hear a pin drop from metres away, so the chances of it being a spirit dropped to a minimum. Could it be the heat playing with my head. The air was packed, it felt crowded, I felt like as if I were in a box, the more I moved the more uncomfortable it got. The humidity suffocated my lungs. The iron polluted water hung heavy on the surface of my skin. I wanted to get back home. I was oblivious to the signs given by my surroundings, so I carried on. I saw what looked like the outline of stairs, they were wet, they smelt as if a fox or a dog had urinated on them, but I carried on avoiding any sort of contact with my surroundings, I got to my floor and headed for the door.

 

I got in and as I opened the door a wave of cold hit my chest knocking me off balance… It felt good but it was unusual, it was as if something didn’t want me there. I put everything down and closed the door. I saw something move in the pitch black background, it was just shadow but a shadow with the figure of a human. The shadow seemed disturbed, it moved around aggressively, knocking things around, but it was still impossibly hard to see, I swiftly moved to the kitchen expecting to see someone. Nobody… I reluctantly glanced out of the window half expecting something bad to happen, but nothing did. The lights flickered, things moved. It wanted me gone, my parents were working so who could I tell, I tried calling them but the phone signal went. I felt trapped, boxed in, for once i realised how an animal in a zoo felt, I didn’t how to explain it but I wanted to leave. I bolted for my room, avoiding anything I hit on the way. I stumbled in and slammed the door behind me. I dropped to the floor and after that traumatising experience my head was not functioning right. I curled myself up in the corner of my room, hands over my ears, eyes on my knees, I wanted to block myself out from everything.

 

I felt as if something was looking over me. I put all my nerves aside and forced my head to raise slightly, my tear flooded eyes could just about make out the silhouette of a hunched over being, it couldn’t be described, I just froze ,I didn’t move, my muscles stiffened, I just prayed that I could end. With no-one else in the house I felt like everything was over, that this was the last of me. I lost all hope and I felt my eyes close and my mind black out. Everything was quiet, I now wished I was blind and deaf, so I could have never experienced what I had experienced on that night. All of a sudden I felt something firmly grip my shoulder, I heard my name, I broke into tears. I was getting shaken, I looked up as the tears on my face ran off and I saw the most relieving thing ever… My dad. He helped me up, I hugged him with no hesitation, I thanked him for ending all the pain and confusion. It was late, everyone was back from work and no-one knowing what had just happened.


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One response to “IGCSE writing to describe”

  1. Ms Pinto Avatar
    Ms Pinto

    I really like how your protagonist has expressed his feelings in response to the setting. I would like to see more of a mixture of sentence types as a lot of your sentences, especially in the opening paragraph start in the same way. This can create a stunted flow. Also remember to create tension and suspense slowly through the piece. Lastly avoid telling a whole story. This only needs to be a snapshot of one part of a story.

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